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Archive for June, 2011

been gone too long…

June 11, 2011 2 comments

Sorry all. I have been doing a lot of something, keeping busy. I do have great news tho!!

I HAVE BEEN WALKING!!

Not too far, just around my place but its better than before. Stretching in bed has allowed me to get us ton use the bathroom at least…

Not only that but I am writing again, which is better than walking. Sure walking =  weight loss but WRITING = regaining my inner voice, spirit, and sanity.

I 100% believe I was getting into a depressive funk and its possible that I still am in that state. Thing is, I’m not drinking AT ALL and am filled with knowing that I am loved soooo much. Why, I still don’t understand but I believe it for the first time EVER as an adult I truly FEEL IT DEEP DOWN INSIDE It’s truly surreal and wonderful.

I was called his ‘One’ and it felt gooood…. SO good. Amazing really.

I could run off and get married to him right now (not truly run off anywhere today, i mean, but you know what I mean…). I want to, i feel married, and unlike all of those who say otherwise, I like it.

I enjoy arguing with him, having disagreements and the tears. tears of love from both of us. We just plain ol’ LOVE each other andconvey it with every ounce of ourselves. I said tears because we cry together over my illness, over the uncertainty of it all, and then over the sheer joy of remembering that at least we have each other right now and we are reborn again.

BRILLIANT, THIS LOVE THING IS BRILLIANT.

Writing is fucking good too. ; )

Categories: hmmmm....

why am i sad?

June 6, 2011 Leave a comment

ok, so i feel shit and i can’t figure out why. Is it cuz I’m immobile for the time being with my knocked up knee? Is it because I have to get poked and injected with garbage just for my MS  over and over and over again? Is it possible that my low iron and low Vitamin D levels? Is it cuz this apt. had little oxygen and i can’t get any light??

I am thinking about this all the time and I just need to sleep forever..

Takes up too much time and I am failing more than I ever have.

 

I am gonna end this now cuz i promised Patrick I’ll begin to cook…

ttyl.

Categories: hmmmm....