Home > hmmmm.... > Another set of symptoms, another set of surprises

Another set of symptoms, another set of surprises

For the third day I woke up wondering if I could feel the floor beneath my feet. Alas, my numb and  freezing cold left foot, toes and all, reminded me that I was not yet back to ‘normal’.

After cancelling my scheduled 2pm meeting at UofT — I am leading up the EWB-UT fundraiser (an evening of Wine + Cheese and dazzling blog posts, photos and stories) AND feeling like an overwhelmed failure, I called up my sweetheart at work to help me get my head + heart on straight. Thankfully, as always, he knew what to say and how to support me in my panicked state: “Shower, get ready to leave, go to hospital or the doctor… AND CALL ME if you need anything. ”

And so I did.

After booking a last minute appointment with my GP,  I called a cab and zipped over to her. 23$ later I  attempted to stroll into the building; “Pczech”  followed suit. Despite the fact that all other attempts to contact the 5 other docs who tend to ‘care’ for me and others in similar positions, this doctor’s final conclusion was this: “head on back downtown and go to the ER, again. ”

Now, my GP is a special kind of useless but there have been moments of brilliance on her part in the past so I keep hoping beyond hope that I just may get lucky and she’ll turn to me and say: “Eureka! I know just what to do…”

Unfortunately this time she told me to shuffle my way back into the city even though I could hardly walk… Thanks??

The surprising part to this little tale is that my guy played hookie at work and hurried over to my rescue when I needed him… He just landed a slick new job at a fantastic Toronto entertainment company and left for the afternoon on his fourth day…

WOW! (New experience for me, having someone truly show how much they care by putting themselves second…)

He said that work and Sarah (that’s me!) are his main priorities that guide him to happy places where he feels valued and useful. He really is all of that and so much more… Imagine that! (sappy, but happy too. Makes the “I can’t really walk properly” part of my life fade ever so slightly…)

I would be in a deep, dark, hopeless place without him cheering me on. This illness is like a sneaky little curse and forces you to duke it out 24/7.  Needless to say it can be exhausting at times, but same goes for so much in life. In order to go on living I have to hide my aches, fatigue, and lack of balance, oh and living hell, then put on a happy face and grin + bear it for a few hours. Having this new bright light in my life, I actually get to feel ‘alive’ again, and boy does it ever feel so right. Most of the time, I prepare myself for my presentation to the world, the faux self, the ‘un-real’ real me.

but not with him. We go home and play with his cat (Oliver!) then have dinner and hit the sack. Together. I want to plug in a few other words here but I shall refrain in case he reads this! ; ) A chilled out life seems lazy to some but it is necessary when I spend the rest  of my days figuring out how I am going to effect change. (Engineers without Borders Canada is in my blood… www. my.ewb.ca to find out more…)

Honestly, if I was meant to have this illness, I now can’t fathom going through it without Pczech. Never knew that simple joys can mean so much when life keeps kicking my ass. Simple like leaving work early to hold my hand when I am scared that I’ll be permanently numb and/or paralyzed until a cure is found.

I wonder if 2011 has more good stuff coming our way. A real cure would be a great start; for now we will keep praying, exercising, and living the lives we do have with love and appreciation.

~ I wish you good and better health now and always ~

❤ Sar



Categories: hmmmm....
  1. rie
    February 13, 2011 at 4:50 am

    Looks like you found a really great guy! You deserve it! You have so much love flowing out of you, it’s time it gets replenished by someone else’s love for you! I mean we love you too, but it’s not quite the same.

    Get well soon Sarah!!

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