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Archive for February, 2011

reach out and touch me…

February 27, 2011 2 comments

P and I went out last night and I had a few too many ‘martinis’.

Why? because I have been drowning my brain in all that is going on at the moment in Libya and I needed a break, and so did he, frankly. I vented to him my frustrations and anger regarding our gov’t and their so-called leader. I just HAD to or else I’d crack.

BUT I really didn’t want to drink or pretend to be happy… wasn’t in the party mood; my heart was breaking into a million pieces…

But, we went out and had a nice time (he loved it, I couldn’t care less).

What I wanted to do was reach out and hold someone out there in the middle east and tell the Libyans who are being terrorized that we care and that we are going to fight for them. Thing is, very few people with any kind of power give a rat’s ass about their strife. They deserve so much better than that!! shit…

I wonder if this was occurring in Canada, would the world be as equally APATHETIC? Would anyone truly care?

P’s thoughts on the argument all revolve around oil and agendas, and ‘why’ any country who claims to care actually does. He has valid points but MY point is always about Humanity and Dignity AND STAYING ALIVE.

T’is better late than never and that we all should never forget that we are all deserving of someone to help us when we cannot do so ourselves. It really doesn’t matter if  the people  ‘could have, should have, or deserve’ something when it becomes a matter of life and death. I know I would want to be saved or at least remain alive. period.

I use Depeche Mode in the blog title because I played this sing a bunch of times last night, even when we got home. Reach out and touch SOMEONE and be happy that you have the opportunity to do so. Do it While you can, Since you can.

 

ciao for now…

 

Categories: hmmmm....

thinking of the wrong people…

February 24, 2011 Leave a comment

It came rushing back to me when I heard her most haunting of voices sing of love lost and the scars they leave. I use the plural because my heart was captured by more than one in my love’s past. Both Rolling In The Deep and Someone Like You keep me thinking and keep me awake the moment they begin to play. I am like a junkie needing a fix, a step back in time for just a few moments…

If I had an open wound, blood would be streaming out of it with every beat my heart takes.Thank you, Adele, heh…

We could have had it all, but not really though… not ever…

If it hadn’t been for love I wouldn’t feel much, or perhaps I’d have felt  happy and not broken hearted… Who knows, really.
Would anyone ever truly feel alive without feeling love though? Doubtful…

I tried to copy and paste the lyrics on here and leave it be but alas, I suck at using laptops lol. Feel free to watch the videos on youtube and tell me your stories… I bet everyone has one, or two.

Falling for the wrong people at the right times seems to be my favourite activity of choice because it happens to me all the time, until now when I have fallen for the right person, an amazing person. A GREAT good person who loves me too and with us there is no doubt about. =D AND no more overpriced engagement rings that mean nothing

 

Categories: hmmmm....

…trying to wait out the vertigo….

February 23, 2011 Leave a comment

…while I try to think of what to write.

Of course my thoughts flutter between the Wine and Cheese event (that is making me nuts because I feel like I am failing in the BIGGEST way!) and Patrick and all of the things we’d like to accomplish.

We’d like to make enough money to get to a confortable place in life where we can afford to skip off to New York for a while. At least, I would like to skip off to New York for a while. I am hating being in this city for as long as I have been at this point. We also plan to write our own foodie/life blog (his idea, not mine. I don’t really care but think it’s good for business). In addition to that we’d also like to find a home, perhaps a condo that would accommodate to my ever-changing needs, needs that are now ‘our’ needs since we are now functioning as one person. When did that happen?? *sigh* changes….

NOT that being a unit is a bad thing, it’s just not something I am used to, is all.

Quick question: what if one of us gets a job out of town? What do I do then? Would I leave him here? (assuming it would be Me who gets that job because he works online…)

Being with Patrick has re-invigorated my spirit and confidence; I am prepared to land that ‘dream’ job and am willing to move to make that happen. Who am i?? lol.

So many things have been changing for me/us and it is getting harder and harder to keep up with the pace. Could it just be too much too soon? Too many amazing things that my mind is just blown? =D

Oy… I think ‘we’ need to have a talk…

oh boy…
More to come….

Categories: hmmmm....

“I love you…” the most wonderful whispers ever spoken…

February 21, 2011 2 comments

He has been feverish for hours upon hours, and needed meds and sleep, someone to take care of him. Thankfully that someone is ME! 😀

We had a great weekend taking turns getting ill… what a relationship! We keep passing our colds, flu’s etc (it gets really gross so I shall spare u the details) for weeks going on months… This time around he was okay one minute then sweating through his clothing, sheets, blankets, socks… time and again! I have never seen that ever before, on anyone. Firsts have taken over our lives, both good and bad… SO sad!. freezing cold but buried under blankets and getting hot guts of air from his space heater… He should have been super warm but he was frigid…

My handsome prince was the one who needed to be rescued this time… I took my exhausted self out to the store and bough him some soups and meds (should have taken me 15 min. there and back took me 35…)  then when I could no longer walk I cabbed it from Yonge and College 5-ish blocks back home. I thought I’d collapse in the street…

Leaning up againgst storefronts, hands on glass windows at 11 pm… people giving me strange looks wondering if I was drunk (when in reality I was just too weak from my MS to be out alone), and on a mission to save my man, I shopped and then ate an ice cream sandwich (mmm Oreo…) b4 I got home. Keep in mind it was freeeezing out. I hailed a cab at the corner and took it allll the way home… the guy felt bad for me cuz I didn’t have enough money and took a 5$ rather than the 7$… I was sooo tired he had to assist me to the door lol. How pathetic!

Anyhow, I got home, put down the soups, arranged the meds at Patrick’s bedside (which was a soaking mess! poor guy!!! ) and helped him to change his clothes once again. I was going to go on home but could not leave him in that state! He would NEVER EVER leave me alone. EVER. He was super sore and just drained beyond words, barely ate dinner, and was ghostly… scary…

I forced him to take some Nyquil and remained on his bed till he slept… Then I went to the couch and passed out at the start of Top Chef completely dressed…. I am still tired! BUT feeling like a good girlfriend… I guess…

I am at MY home now instead of being with him so I technically am a shit girlfriend….

Anyhow, I shall continue later because I am going to fall asleep here….

tbc……

 

Categories: hmmmm....

3 cheers to my messed up body at 12:30am…

February 18, 2011 Leave a comment

I had a fantastic day full of inspiration which I had intended on writing a huge entry on with regards to life, justice, and my passion for all that is Eve Ensler (seriously, read her works and you might understand why…)

but as always it all got fucked on the fly thanks to a sudden relapse, the likes of which I am having right. now.

I might throw up thanks to it because that CAN occur, but I am dealing with a cold so I am hopped up on meds…

I had a wonderfully wicked evening plannied for Patrick and I (fri – sun) full of great dinners, strolls to the market, getting a ton of networking done, and all of that will probably be scrapped now because I can’t hardly breathe or feel my fingers. I type becaue I know how t onot because I can actually feel. In fact, I cannot feel my lips or most of my face at t he moment. Immense dehydration plus MIGRANES are my new thing which is just a thrill.

If I sound bitter I spologize I just needed to vent and I am hoping P wil read this when he awakens and will come take care of me so I am not home alone…

Needless to say I am a bit scared, like usual. I also miss sleep but am unsure if I can make it from my PC to the bed….

Actually, I think I might need to *blech*

Pls Pls have a good Friday, ok?

❤ and I’ll keep you updated when I can.

*sigh*

Categories: hmmmm....

hunger and phlegm becomes me…

February 16, 2011 Leave a comment

I am home now, been here since last night post Valentine’s Day (the sweetest valentine’s day!). BUT I was coughing up both lungs lol. My fever finally broke but left me so spent! To shower or not to shower, that is the more IMMEDIATE question.

Guess what?! I destroyed 2 boxes of tissues in 1 day! Go me! Ick. Thank goodness the Benilyn day time stuff worked wonders. BUT, of course, I am weak and sore. What a day!

I seriously didn’t do anything today! what is going on? I should have filled out  the ODSP forms but didn’t, I really should have made some food but didn’t. I REALLY could have had a cup of tea and would have felt soooo wonderful but again, I did not. Ick Ick Ick….

So much for making it to the Exec meeting today, or ensuring the room bookings and actually making some headway with the Wine + Cheese. I just want James to be impressed!!! He really is the man. Sarah really IS James Orbinski’s groupie…

Hmmm… I wonder if he might be able to pull some strings at St. Mike’s or something….he IS Mr. MSF Nobel prize winner…. might he be able to fix me??

Breathing has improved since I am no longer filled with kitty-cat dander/fur…. Which is sad because Oliver is the sweetest cat in the world. AND his Dad/Big brother Patrick is even sweeter still.

I just had to post something, anything. anything at all. I fear falling asleep in the tub lol.

Categories: hmmmm....

sore but trying to truck on through till Prince Pczech gets home this evening with the groceries…

February 14, 2011 Leave a comment

Trucking by with Dean Martin bellowing in the air, upset tummy in my tummy, and fear of falling asleep on the floor or in tub. alone…. oooowwwwieeee…..*burp*

Categories: hmmmm....